Permanent makeup is about more than looking pretty. Getting my brows microbladed changed my life for the better.
How It Started: One Woman’s Battle with Trichotillomania
I tried every makeup trick under the sun to make it look like I had eyebrows. Not because they’re naturally sparse, or light, but because I have a disorder called trichotillomania. What this means is: when I’m anxious, tired, bored, or even just zoning out reading a book, I compulsively pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows.
Lots of folx are shocked and dismayed to hear that anyone would do this to themselves, but the truth is an estimated 1 in 20 people struggle with a body-focused repetitive behavior (BFRB) like this. Trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) is just one of a whole list of BFRBs. These behaviors include skin picking, pimple popping, and–perhaps most common–nail biting. The behaviors are typically unwanted and involuntary, and can be incredibly difficult to treat. Worst of all, they can wreak havoc on your self confidence.
So, when people get hyperbolic and say something like “XYZ thing makes me want to tear my hair out”, I die a little inside. Because, you know, I actually do that.
But that’s not why I’m here writing this blog today.
A Trichster Walks into a Permanent Makeup Studio…
I had the good fortune of meeting Treja in 2019. A very generous friend wanted to give me a microblading session–something I had wanted to do for years. I did a quick scan of Treja’s instagram and–to my delight–saw that she had treated another person with trichotillomania. I booked right away.
Walking into Treja’s studio as a trichster (that’s what some of us like to call ourselves) I immediately felt safe. Treja is warm, friendly, and aggressively inclusive. Yes, aggressively, and I say that with the utmost love and respect.
Treja made sure I felt safe. She totally got it when I said I didn’t want her to post my before/after pictures on social media. She took the time to explain that if I picked and pulled during my brow healing process, it could cause infections and mess up the final product. And you know what? After my first session, I didn’t pluck out my eyebrows again for over a month. Plus, I got beaucoup compliments because somehow this magical woman had used tiny ink strokes to make my bald brows look full and fluffy.
And Just Like That, My Life Was Better
When I went back to see Treja for my follow-up appointment, she pointed out all of the new growth. And it wasn’t just from my pulling abstinence–it seemed that the microblading needle had broken up the years of scar tissue on my brow ridges, which helped my busted little follicles do their thing again. I was overjoyed. I think she was, too.
I felt so good, so safe, so seen, that I wanted other trichsters in Sonoma County to know Treja’s magic. SO, I revised my photo consent form and told Treja to go ahead and post my before/after pictures. Because, despite increased awareness and advocacy work, there are no prescription medications approved specifically to treat trichotillomania (more about that in a moment). While recovery is possible, it’s difficult, and many of us have to live with the daily reality of using makeup to cover up our bald spots.
Finally Free from the Daily Makeup Grind
I can’t tell you how draining it is to spend ten or twenty minutes every day meticulously trying to get your brows drawn on correctly. Don’t ask me how many times (pre-microblading) I’ve been late to something because I’ve had to completely wipe them off and start over. Now, though? I can leave the house with no makeup on.
“Wait, I thought you said you pulled your eyelashes out as well?” I can hear you asking through the internet.
This is true. But I was so happy with my microblading results that I went ahead and did permanent eyeliner with Treja as well. The pain for both of these treatments was really minimal, and the results are so, so worth it.
So, hey trichster, or friend of trichster: if you’re reading this, treat yourself to some brows. I can’t tell you what having these babies has done for my self confidence. I get compliments on them all the time, even when they’re faded and due for a touch-up. And, best of all, I’m late to stuff for better reasons than having to re-draw my brows.
Is there a cure for trichotillomania?
Recovery and remission is possible, but there is no cure yet. Part of the problem with finding effective treatment is ongoing disagreement within the psychiatric community about how to even categorize trichotillomania and BFRBs. The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) currently has trichotillomania categorized as an obsessive-compulsive related disorder, but that criteria doesn’t match everyone’s experience. Moreover, medications that treat OCD have only helped a small percentage of adults with trichotillomania and other BFRBs. There are other medications and supplements that practitioners have seen limited success with, like SSRIs and N-Acetyl Cystine (NAC), but we have yet to find a medication or supplement that reliably works to treat the disorder in a majority of patients.
Of course, therapy is a great tool to help break the shame and stigma that comes with trichotillomania. Utlizing tools like the groundbreaking HabitAware bracelet and coaching community can help you learn to recognize pulling urges and replace the behavior.
Whether you came to this blog as a curious trichster, someone with a loved one with trich, or just a curious passer-by, I appreciate you taking the time to learn more.
Helpful linky links for more information and support:
- The TLC Foundation for Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors has a lot of information and resources
- BFRB Changemakers is a nonprofit dedicated to creating community and support for people with trichotillomania and other BFRBs
- Barbara Lally is a trichster, author, advocate, and peer coach who is always furthering the conversation about BFRBs. Her Instagram is also a GEM.
- You can also find support and community on Reddit (r/trichotillomania and r/trichsters), and Facebook has several active groups with over 10,000 members.
